I remember back when I was a teenager taking church youth group trips down to Chicago. Caravans of three or four cars would travel down. A necessary evil of these journeys included traveling through the Illinois tollbooths long before the popularization of automated radio enabled payment systems. We would pull up to the tollbooth operator only to be told that our toll had already been paid for by the car ahead of us. Sometimes we would in turn direct the attendant to direct our payment to the next car, sometimes a complete stranger. Even when we didn't do this, the essence of the good deed remained with us, and I believe this translated into our performing random acts of kindness in the near future.
What motivated us to dismiss this free financial break and pass it on, or what motivated us to do some other sort of service later on? I assert that it was the positive emotional stimulus created by the thought that someone else was thinking of us, and the desire to generate those similar feelings in others.
When I was 17, I was at risk for not finishing something on which I had previously spent a considerable effort. I was a few requirements short of obtaining the Boy Scouts of America Eagle Scout rank, and I had been for about three years. The distractions of high school had taken a hold of me, and I had almost dismissed the prospect of finishing. It took a highly driven GE employed Scoutmaster of the Jack Welch era to take me aside and proverbially slap me upside the head. He told me, “You are so close. This is what you need to do, this is when you will complete it, and this is how I will hold you accountable.” He stood by me until my board of review was complete and I achieved the prestigious rank few Boy Scouts actually achieve. With that, I joined the ranks of numerous generals, presidents, and astronauts.
I now find myself in the position of an assistant scoutmaster, and volunteering to take each of the boys aside and creating a plan for them to advance. The chairman of the troop, when I explained this story to her, said, “Ah, it's your way of paying it forward.”
We live in a very transactional society. Everyone expects some sort of compensation for effort they put out for something outside themselves. Even in the philanthropic world, donors expect their names on plaques, halls, and buildings. Philanthropies attempt to motivate donors by citing the tax benefits individuals will receive. At times, when I have offered help to others, they have given me promises of lunch, or cash, or some other compensation, and feel awkward or indebted if I refuse.
The other day, I was at the dry cleaners, and the person in line in front of me had brought in a coat with a zipper issue. The old Asian lady’s expertise allowed her to fix it in a matter of moments. The lady pulled out her wallet and said, “How much do I owe you?” When the lady waved her off, the woman, a little thrown off, left the store beaming. I beamed too, for while I did not expect free service by any means for my routine cleaning, I knew I was dealing with someone whose passion went beyond treating apparel with chemicals and thread into the realms of personal interaction with fellow humanity.
Imagine a world where this was the norm instead of the exceptional. Imagine a world where people were constantly thinking of ways to “pay it forward”, whatever “it” had been in their distant past? We would have a perpetual economy of good deeds, done for free. The beautiful part of it all is that not all prepaid tolls would translate into more prepaid tolls. Perhaps a recipient of this really didn't have much money, and really benefitted from that prepaid toll. At the same time, that person was adept at and passionate about baking apple pies. Energized by the good deed done to her, she decided to bake an apple pie for a teenaged neighbor who was overwhelmed by his final exams. That teenager so much appreciated the apple pie, that when seeing another neighbor struggling with moving a piece of furniture into the house, he rushes to his aid.
In these instances, people were poor in some aspects, whether it be money or happiness, or physical capability, and wealthy in others. In a pay it forward economy, acts do not have to be difficult or costly, but can at the same time be incredibly significant.
Especially since the acts are not given back to the original person (as would be the case in a transactional economy). This insures the element of the unexpected, the lifeblood of the entire concept. In transactions, even in mindful barters, one person feels obligated to the other, even if in their own mind, to return services with something of equal or greater value. The stress of the obligation dismisses any goodwill that would have otherwise been engendered, and can sometimes lead to spite, especially if there is a wealth differential between the two.
Just imagine the result of any good deed done being followed by first, a refusal of anything in return, and second, if the person wants to give something back, a charge to pay it forward. I think that even if awkward at first, people would readily embrace it. It is hard to forget the ecstasy a thoughtful, unexpected act of kindness or goodwill creates. I think this would stimulate a service oriented economy, which would lead to less hatred and prejudice of those whose issues are not ours. Many of the bickerings and maldeeds would disappear, since they would be considered taboo. Diverse groups of people would gain a greater understanding of each other, thus advancing the wealth of knowledge concerning human nature across our neighborhoods, cities, and globe.
The beauty is that if not revolutionary on a societal level, it will always make a difference on the individual level. So the next time you see someone struggling, do something nice for them that will provide some sort of relief. If they thank you, explain that you are just paying forward the good deeds done to yourself, and encourage them to do the same. You may not see the result of the chain reaction you might create, but the result within yourself will be fantastic
